I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
do nipples grow back?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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