five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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