How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
