I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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