I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
