i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize