Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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