Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You smell like stripper and shame
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
