OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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