after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
