i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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