I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
