Me too!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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