Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
