dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
