I need help removing her.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
