It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The feeling are messing with the penis
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
