wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
