You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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