She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize