my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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