To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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