I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
