Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
