He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
