He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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