The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
