i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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