garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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