It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
