Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
