and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
