Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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