ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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