We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
