No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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