Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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