I wanna bring you to show and tell
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
