I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just found a bag of teeth...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize