is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
