Nicole vs. Life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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