She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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