I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I would ride that face into the sunset
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
