Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

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(925): View more from California

i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on

Fav 8 4618 1053
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(303): View more from Colorado

After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

Fav 16 1943 5050
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(415): View more from California

I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

Fav 9 5179 748
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(415): View more from California

If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

Fav 13 10320 1419
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(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

Fav 7 2020 1224
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(518): View more from New York

I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.

Fav 10 3409 1187
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit

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(605): View more from South Dakota

That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow

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