I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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