I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
