He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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