check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
