would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
