sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
