some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
