Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have tasted many bathrooms
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize