You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
