I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
NoShamevember. You game?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize