just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
