do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
