My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
