He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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