Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
