You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
